"Who told you to tie a knot in the plastic bag? It's not SOP"
Brilliant,
Neither is having a plastic bag in the flight deck, or not tying a knot is not SOP.
We really have some door knobs flying at CX.
I like the one about not putting your feet on the, wait for it..... "foot rests".
If some of this sounds like what you say on the flight deck, please go away and take a hard, long look at yourself!