MEMO
FROM: CEO, PINEAPPLE AIRLINES
TO: HR MANAGER, CHIEF PILOT
SUBJECT: FREEDOM OF PILOT MOVEMENT
BACKGROUND:
Seniority for pilots has been declared illegal, unconstitutional and an impediment to free and unregulated movement of labour between countries or companies. Pilots are not to be singled out as a privileged group to be protected by seniority.
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Advertise internationally and on pilot recruitment websites, offering positions on our new fleet of Wunderbus aircraft to pilots of any nationality, holding any ICAO licence.
2. Invite applicants to tender salary bids - accept those with the lowest.
3. Remove all references to seniority from existing pilot contracts or agreements. As the rank of Captain implies a more senior status to that of First Officer, delete these terms. Replace all with the common term 'Driver-Airframe'.
4. All insignia defining seniority, hence rank - such as gold braid - is to be removed from uniforms. Replace existing pilot uniforms with flouro yellow overalls as issued to forklift drivers. Thus saving tailoring costs, enhancing safety while retaining visibility (which we understand pilots desire).
5. In future, the polite address for 'Captain' will be 'Comrade' - as it will be for former First Officers and all other staff.
5. Because we expect the Jurassic fleet to be scrapped within the next two years - to be replaced by Wunderbusses - advise all Jurassic Drivers-Airframe that their positions will become redundant.
6. Jurassic Drivers-Airframe may self-fund Wunderbus type ratings and re-apply for positions on that fleet, subject to their salary tenders matching or undercutting those tendered by the more recently hired Wunderbus Drivers-Airframe.
7. However, as their base assignments will have been filled by the new recruits, in the interests of freedom of movement, former Jurassic pilots can bid for any out-station within the company network where there is a vacancy. As there is no seniority, outstation appointments will be at sole direction of management.
8. Should there be no outstation vacancies, former Jurassic pilots will be made redundant.
CONCLUSION:
If there are no vacancies, having been freed of the 'handcuffs' of seniority, at least former pilots can go with our blessing to any new job that may be available in a competing company. That company may well be in China, India or Africa, but they, their wives and children will find this a positively enriching experience. They also should take heart from the thought that if they acquire experience on the Next Generation Spaceliner and we re-equip, they will be most welcome to return and replace the Wunderbus crews as that type becomes obsolete. We see this as a win win situation.