I personally don’t think it’s as bad as people make out to be, however this is my view as an aircraft designer working in the civil sector, not aircrew. I have a friend who joined a tagged scheme and now fly’s for a UK airline, so it is possible.
From my research and funding methods the best way would be:
Stay employed, go modular, work hard, join a flying club/group, make yourself known as keen and look for contacts… for the final step, have a career break (if possible) and see if you can get a worthwhile flying job. At least then if your unsuccessful you can return to your day job.
It can be a bit depressing when you think of the time and costs involved, particularly with the poor likely hood of getting a job… But it is possible!