re the refusing to obey an illegal order, this is a given in the UK Armed Forces, and I'm sure in the USA ones as well, for all ranks from private to Field Marshal. By definition it has to be your decision, thus you immediately go out on a limb, report the order up your CoC, and await developments.
They will come down fast about your head, and given past precedent in the UK, it will be you that is in the poo and not the superior who issued you the order. Tough! You have done your duty and must now take the consequences. When the order is a life and death one, whether it be about subverting airworthiness regulations or pouring down "limited" TLAMs on another country without Security Council authorisation, you will at least be able to live with yourself in your suddenly leisure filled retirement. Many others at the receiving end of the "limited" action won't.