Sounds more less like I learned it (been a while though since I crossed a control zone), would suggest some amendments though:
A: Dusseldorf Tower, D-Exxx
G: D-xx, Dusseldorf Tower
A: D-xx is a Cessna 152, VFR, local flight from Essen-Mulheim, position 2 miles east of Duisburg at 2200 feet with information (x), QNH xxxx, request mid-field south-bound transition via November, Sierra.
G: D-xx, transition approved via November and Sierra, at or above 2000 feet, report November, squawk 1234
A: transition approved at or above 2000 feet, squawk 1234, D-xx
...
A: D-xx, overhead November at xxxx feet [and if you have no prior clearance then wait for one until you actually enter the control zone]
... (after leaving CTA)
A: D-xx, leaving the control zone over Sierra at xxxx, request frequency change
G: D-xx, frequency change approved, squawk 7000
A: Frequency change approved, squawk 7000, bye