I do not envy you...
I really do not envy you. The sorry aspect of this whole issue, is that you are now experiencing first hand what so many other RHS drivers/ young COMM pilots etc have experienced before you and in all probability experience after you.
I fully agree with Fuelflow and Warlock 2000: YOU and only YOU count on that aircraft. Stay within the a/c performance limitations and the rules and regs and cover your arse.
Do yourself a favour and get hold of a copy of the company ops manual. Read it, understand it and although you might or might not ruffle some feathers in the process, stick to it. That way you stick within the law and you help your company to stick within the law.
Although some companies are easy to throw the "...if you do not want to do the flight , I'll get some-one else to do it...", you have to make the decision whether you want to become and old pilot or a bold pilot. Remember, you do not find old and bold pilots.
Fly safe.