"Do you really think that somewhere with such a vile, wet, midge-ridden climate knows the first thing about barbecues?
Is it even possible to cook porridge, haggis and whatever else the wretches eat over a barbecue?
Standing around a lard-fuelled barbecue in their shortbread-tin skirts in the drizzle whilst swigging IrnBru waiting for the porridge to boil.
Sounds truly wonderful"
Goodness, did some Torry slut bounce you one time? Where I come from there is a never ending supply of fresh trout and salmon (free) - the cat is sick of fresh fish. We have the fish lady comes round every Friday lunchtime having been at the fish market at 4am and her haddies are just lovely. I always get a couple of kippers in for brekkies on the Sunday before embarking on beer for the Moto GP.
I eat porridge nearly every morning - it's rice porridge with an egg added and fish sauce to taste. Far better than the Mel Gibson version.
Indeed, Mrs TT2 enjoys my pepper pork chops and wil avail herself to visit Sconnie Botland when the government get their arse into gear.
How can I prove a minimum income requirement when I live and work overseas, I only want to visit my ailing Mum.
The Britlag Embassy folks say that tax statements are not enough cos' they are issued from a foreign country : I have a feeling to go and find another copy of Catch 22. Probably cheer me up...............
Mind you, the prospect of 2 hours security and seventeen hours in a tin can with screaming nits is a good excuse not to go. (I write this as Mrs TT2 is fast asleep having had a run ashore last night with her pals - came hame bleezin' - funny as bits).
And, I like haggis. With mashed tatties and bashed neeps. Goodness, at the moment, the thought is better than sex..........