There must be privacy etc I understand.
No, I don't think you do. Privacy is like pregnancy - you are, or you are not. Its private or it isn't. You want others to keep things private, but make exceptions for strangers (you) who cannot prove whom they are.
But there must also some customer service and middle way, which I still think BA failed to provide. E.g. We were never told (probably in the 10 pages of 8 pint small print) that they would decline information.
In other words they told you, but you didn't read it because you expected BA to hand out information on your child to unsubstantiated people ?
The way to hell is paved with good intentions.
As has been said already, if information on your child was handed out to a third party, you would be screaming about BA breaching confidentiality.
Time to back off I think. You're on your own. Glad junior is none the worse.