A busy London sector:
"London good morning Lufthansa 443, level 240 request 280"
"Lufthansa 443 morning to you, maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
A couple of minutes later
"London, Lufthansa 443, request climb to 280"
"Lufthansa 443 maintain 240"
"Maintain 240 Lufthansa 443"
Shortly after
"London Lufthansa 443 request climb 280"
"Lufthansa 443, negative maintain 240"
"London Lufthansa 443 we are on a long sector we need to climb now to 280 or we wont make it to the destination due to the rate of fuel burn at this level"
"Lufthansa 443 if you climb now you wont make due to collision"
"Funsun 123, approach, turn left 330, intercept localiser from the left, call established, set QFE 1008"
"Left 330, to call established localiser and we have the QNH 1012 set thanks""
"Funsun 123, request you set QFE 1008"
"Its okay, we are quite happy with the QNH set thanks"
"Funsun 123 negative, the airfield procedures state the QFE is the landing datum, set QFE 1008"
"Well our Ops manual states that QNH is to be the landing datum, and we have it set"
"Negative Funsun 123, you must set QFE 1008"
"Listen matey, the we are fully established, gear is down 3 greens, full flap, landing checks complete, now if you dont mind I'd like to contact tower for the only thing I dont have - permission to land!"
And being ex Navy I just cannot resist this legendary exchange that took place a while back in the SW approaches in limited visibility
"Vessel 15 degrees of my port bow this is US warship, request you alter your course to avoid me"
"US warship this is vessel on your port bow, that is a negative"
"Vessel on my port bow this is US warship, the collision regulations state that you must in this situation alter course to avoid me"
"US warship this is vessel on your port bow I am unable to alter course, you must alter to avoid me"
"Vessel on my port bow this is the USS Enterprise, aircraft carrier of the United States Navy, alter course now to avoid me"
Finally exhaultedly triumphant English voice
"USS Enterprise this is lighthouse, your call over!"
Exchange on VHF channel between US carrier and smaller British carrier
US CVN "Morning, hows the second biggest navy in the world today"
RN CV "Fine thanks, hows the second best?"