you were perfectly right to ask.
the flight attendant should have called up to the cockpit via interphone/intercom (not PA) and as time permitted, the cockpit crew should have come up with a reasonable answer.
Indeed, it is our company procedure to anticipate the question and explain that in ICING conditions, the configuration is selected closer to the runway than during normal conditions.
While the FA is right, the front flaps (really called leading edge devices, among other things) are more important than the trailing edge flaps, they are both important.
I was deadheading on a 737 at a time when I was on a different type and had not yet flown the 737. We were at San Francisco, California flying in rainy weather...NOT ICING and the taxi was unusually long going to runway 10s and the flaps were not set. I was in uniform and asked the FA to remind the crew...FA came back and said that the procedure in icing conditions was to delay flap selection...I reminded the FA that it was raining and NOT NEAR the freezing point. Flaps were selected shortly after I asked.
Another time, in perfectly beautiful weather well above freezing in Boston, with a known exceptionaly short taxi, I was deadheading, again in uniform, again in a 737, the flaps were not set and we lined up with the runway...I was close enough to the cockpit that I knew I would hear the configuration warning horn as they advanced the throttles...I also had a plan that if we started to roll for takeoff and the horn didn't sound and the flaps didn't come down I would run up and pound on the cockpit door...
As I figured the power came up, the horn sounded, the power came down, the flaps came down, the power came up and off we went. When we got to the destination I read the riot act to the crew saying: on a short taxi, stop and do the darn checklist or I would report them to the boss. They came up with a LAME excuse which I wouldn't let them get away with, so I reported them. We changed the Boston procedure to do the checklist before calling for taxi clearance when certain runways were in use.
Delaying flap selection in icing conditions is considered OK for the 737...but in my two cases it was just dumb not to select the flaps early on...and it is very wrong to let any passenger feel uncomfortable about a safety concern.
A very unusual sequence of events happened on a 737 that brought so much attention to a problem that a VIDEO was made to explain the procedure to let the cockpit know something was wrong. IF I MAY
After the previous landing and selection of spoilers to help slow the plane after touchdown, the handle to retract the spoilers was activated ...but the cable from the handle to the spoiler system broke...yes BROKE...so the handle moved to the spoiler retracted setting AND THE SPOILERS DID NOT RETRACT. There isn't a positive feedback loop to detect spoiler position...the position of the handle is the only thing detected with a little spoiler deployed light.
So the plane parks, and a preflight is done by the same crew that brought the plane in...but the copilot couldn't see the top of the wing and didn't see the spoilers extended.
A deadheading crew in back DID see the spoilers extended and tried to make hand signals to the FA's to tell the crew, to no avail. So as the plane took the runway, they ran up to the cockpit and yelled to reject the takeoff, PREVENTING the plane from taking off with spoilers deployed.
Procedures were changed to include a visual inspection of the upper surface of the wing from the cabin after landing to verify spoiler position.
But a video was made and procedures for any question from the cabin regarding configuration or other safety concern to be addressed by FA's communicating with the cockpit crew.
AS a passenger, you have a right to a reasonable answer, and NOT just from a Flight Attendant. Politely request that the FA call the cockpit and address the situation.
I can think of one tragic crash in Detroit that would have been prevented if someone had spoken up...and every Deadheading pilot does look at the wings to make sure...just in case.
Our airline at one time flew a jet that didn't use flaps for takeoff...and we addressed this with a PA announcement every time explaing that this type of plane didn't use flaps for takeoff and that experienced travelers might have noticed!