The original poster is crying for help!
He is not the only one, in my base about 15% of the skippers, mostly guys in their late forties with 20+ years in aviation, are desperate for a part time as they can't handle a full time anymore.
A couple of them are close to a nervous breakdown, the company knows this but refuses the part time contracts. They are even told by the base captain that if they can't handle a fulltime they should be looking for another job!
My advice: as good as it gets, go and see a doctor, I think you need some time off.