You don't want 2 weeks tours Newfieboy - 3 x as many travelling nightmares. I am normally a calm individual but these security nazis test my resolve every time - and they know it. I just read the warning notice about abusing the staff, count to 10 and give lethal looks when I am being frisked for the 4th time that day.
Do I need to take my watch off? No. My shoes? No. BING! Can you go back and take shoes off. BING. Go back and take your watch off. Take your laptop out, now turn it on. Don't take your laptop out. Open your bag sir. Do you know that you can't take that tiny $5 bottle of water through security! But I just bought it over there! ... and on it goes on...
Find my seat in cattle class. Ahhh bliss, everyone on board and I have a seat free next to me. Hang on - one last passenger. Chavvy teenage mum with vomiting, incontinent 2 year old. F*ck - can it get any worse?
Finally arrive. Talk my way through immigration nazis and wait for bag. BING BONG. Will Mr Epiphany please contact baggage desk. Sorry but your bag missed the connection. You really should leave more time for your connection you know - 1 hour is simply not enough. GGGGrrrrrr...........