This is a problem I've had many times over the years and it's difficult.
There was one guy I used to fly with who was fairly good at reading up on the ops manual etc, but then he'd find some nit-picky trivia in the manual which he'd have difficulty agreeing with, to then ask questions about it in a sort of criticising fashion ..almost to the point of arguing about it, the result being that the captains could never get a moment's peace during a long day...VERY exhausting.
I found myself having to step on a few point-scorers..the F/Os with bug all experience but trying to prove they're better than anyone else.
Before I say the next bit, I have NEVER had any disrespect for female pilots, but I've flown with a few who focus to much on trying to be equal or better or something like that to a man...and in my experience, and these types tend not to accept any sort of correction from a male, so they go into a huff, leaving the captain to operate like a single crew babysitter to a spoilt child who's thrown her teddy out of the pram.
If I think I recognise these symptoms, my big prority is to think before I speak so that the big huff doesn't doesn't happen.
If it does happen, use lots of charm to regain two crew status ASAP.
(For the record.. female pilots who simply cut out the crap and get on with the job are wonderful )
On a couple of occasions if you can get the mood right, you can sort of play a monitoring game. ie: you count the mistakes I make and I count the ones you make..subtract the two at the end of the day, and the loser buys the beers.
Don't get carried away with it, but if you can keep the mood enjoyable, you can maintain a good two crew co-ordination, allow yourself to get a bit nit-picky in a light-hearted sort of way, and prove to your F/O that he makes plenty of mistakes so he'll realise that he probably isn't as bright as he was trying to prove.
If all else fails...smack his bottom after the flight.
