I could not agree with you more. The "WHY?" escapes all too many nowadays.
And yes, nitpicking often shows more of one's "mine's bigger than yours" mentality than anything. But like I said, it's quite often those happily giving it out who are unable to be challenged themselves.
Some of the best saves have been from those crews thinking outside the box & seeing a bigger picture & NOT blindly following inappropriate procedures (Sioux City springs to mind...all be it no procedures were available to follow).
"It's FLAP not "FLAPS"! Read your SOP!!"
"Yes Capt. My apologies. And it's "80" not "80 KNOTS" as per the SOPs."
See how that plays out....! The Capt sets the tone of the cockpit.
Your description of The Perfect Pilot i also agree whole heartedly with. But I believe it is something we should aspire to, not something we should put in the "too hard" or "near enough is good enough" attitude. No, we rarely are knot-perfect or precisely in that ideal touchdown zone but it should be what we strive for.
Regarding the radar gain example: I'll bet that same FO has at some stage received a previous mouthful for failing to apply the procedure. Damned if he does & damned if he doesn't. Best practice (in my eyes) would be:
"Capt, it's CAVOK. You're happy to leave the gain alone?"
"Of course. No problem."
SOP adhered to & FO not second guessing. A 2-3 second exchange & all is good.
My time in India saw poor excuses for pilots (Capts & FO's) regurgitating the FCOM or SOP yet unable to answer any if the "WHY's". Word perfect on procedures but ask them to mentally calculate a descent profile to include the STAR & approach to not include a level segment? No idea.
Again, this is the system created & rewarded. Give me a Capt or FO who knows the SOPs as well as the FCOMs, FCTM, QRH, etc as well as an open attitude able to see & adjust to the big picture. Again, it should be the norm to strive for & not the unattainable because it's "too hard" or "close enough is good enough" attitudes so abundant from management, recruiters, trainers & therefore line pilots of today.
Am just back from a sim evaluation. The FO has 2500 hrs TT, 2250 jet. He couldn't fly a raw data night visual pattern. He'd never heard of distance to height calculation for a 3 deg profile let alone using GS to calculate a rate of descent. His only comment after the debrief was that he believes he's ready for Command upgrade because all his Capts say how great he his. Blame him or the system?? Welcome to the world too many think is "good enough".