(a) Personally I prefer the Jeremy Pratt books, but definitely get the reading and ground exams out of the way as early as possible, whatever books you use.
(b) I agree with "most people". The sim may have value when you get to nav or instrument awareness, but not much else.
(c) Yes, put the effort into finding the flying school that will suit you best. Learning to fly is a big investment and effort put into finding the best place to put that investment is unlikely to be wasted.
(d) I can't say I've ever had warm feelings about either - but when you do trial lessons, take note of how much time you spend on the ground rather than in the air in a 30 or 60 minute lesson. That's probably the biggest difference that'll affect you, apart from the quality of the bacon sandwiches.
G