Thanks for reconsidering, PPRuNe Pop & Wholi. I try to entertain, and my humour can be a bit cutting edge. Please just delete posts if I go too far. I shall try my best not to.
I'm definitely leaving out the Tenerife Incident
This story is from 30 years ago and in no way condones driving whilst under the influence of alcohol. It is merely a lesson for us all about a troubled & easily led, young man who subsequently reformed.
Tipsy - 13 Sqn Canberras - 1980
Tipsy continued his habit of being in trouble in his first week out of training, being posted to 13 Sqn at RAF Wyton. Albeit two weeks late as he had been helping police with their enquiries back at Halton.
Before the days of all day drinking, there was Monday Market Day in St Ives. The Sqn Flight Line Mechanics (FLM’s) decided to test the new boy's stamina with an all day session. Tipsy even had a car, although he didn't have tax, MOT or insurance. What was the point, he didn't have a license. It was 'work in progress'
After an all day & night session that Tipsy had passed with flying colours, it was time for the drive back to camp. Tipsy had destroyed all of the opposition except the Senior FLM, who was now in the passenger seat in a coma. Tipsy knew that he was okay to drive, just as long as he could get the key in the ignition.
In the market square, an old grey haired gentleman was walking his dog and came upon the scene. Knocking on the driver's window he stated :-
'You, my Son, are not driving back in that state!'
'And who might you be' [possibly more profane] replied Tipsy
The Senior FLM opened one eye and said...
'That's the Sqn Warrant Officer'
The Sqn WO subsequently drove Tipsy & the FLM back to Wyton in Tipsy's car. Tipsy spent most of the journey alternately wrestling with the WO's dog, and hanging on the back of the drivers seat saying 'I hate you, you're just like my Dad'