Belle & Sebastian - that one is coming soon, the second time that Country Calls gets a mention, here is the first:-
Wurzel - Trouble at the Bop - Lyneham 2009
If I listed the amount of times that this social hand grenade had been punched, we’d be here all night. Although it is surprising seeing as Wurzel claims to be a karate black belt. But that's no use if you've got a pint in one hand, and someone else's girlfriend's buttock in the other. And it's definitely no help if you’re crossing swords with W****e. Or more specifically, the equally formidable W****e’s ex-wife, and her 47AD boyfriend, and some of their friends.
But what really happened that night? When Wurzel followed the time honoured GE tradition of wasting police time. Well I was present for some of it.
Following a GE Top Table, the hardened drinkers decided to decamp to KJ’s, to show our Junior Ranks just how drunk we were, how rich & generous we were...and can we grope your girlfriends please? Maybe even show off our latest dance moves. And there’s W****e’s ex-wife, long since divorced from W****e, accompanied by some 47 AD friends. Never let it be said that a drunk GE would get the wrong end of the stick, but Wurzel excelled himself that night. Knowing that W****e was down route, but forgetting that she wasn’t his wife anymore, Wurz decided to protect her honour from those nasty Air Despatchers. Or maybe he had plans of his own. More likely, I think. Wurz decided to execute his plan using the medium of dance. Specifically a jive…with a woman twice his size.
If Wurz had paid more attention on those never ending Open University courses that he’s taken, he might have been more aware of the laws of physics. So there he was, underestimating the co-efficient of friction and flying across the bar like a tangential cosmic moon shot. His graceful flight across the bar slowed somewhat when his forehead met the corner of a table.
How we laughed. And no sooner had the dazed Wurzel landed, [Country Calls] kicked him in the face.
‘What did you do that for, [Country Calls]?’ I asked.’
'It’s the rules’ replied [Country Calls].
‘What rules? Pigs Bar rules? Rugby Club Rules? Special Forces GE Rules?’
‘I don’t make the rules’ replied [Country Calls].
Fair cop. Did Wurzel get punched later on? Who knows. But I blame the disgraceful RAF Police for not investigating a complaint from a respected Senior NCO…who was out of bounds…groping someone else’s girlfriend…so drunk he didn’t who had hit him, if indeed anyone had…and probably deserved it anyway. Something that the SWO explained to Wurzel, the next day
Last edited by SirPeterHardingsLovechild; 23rd Mar 2011 at 19:27.