Bay 17 - 20 (Steve Ox) Your ex- sister in law gets a mention soon...in the same Wurzel story that Country Calls features.
But a hatrick of early appo stories first
Swinderby Basic Training - 1977
One week into Tipsy's RAF career, he was ordered to be escort for his mate's charge, and was standing at ease in the corridor as the Discip Cpl prepared. Along the corridor comes the presiding officer with an armful of paperwork. Tipsy snapped smartly to attention, ruffled the carpet between his feet, officer went arse over tit, throwing all his paperwork into the air. By the time he had regained his composure, Tipsy had unruffled the carpet, and the officer said ‘Silly me’.
RAF Halton Tech Training- late 70's
After snowfall at Halton, the Apprentices and Direct Entrants took part in a massive snowball fight across Henderson parade square. Chasing the DE's back to their barrack blocks, some windows got smashed. Later on, after rehydration in Henderson NAAFI, Tipsy and a couple of mates staggered back up to Anson Block. Chunky H*******n said 'I bet you can't hit that lamp post from here', and he was proved right, none of them could. However, the Ord Sgt was on the prowl, and decided he had got the guilty men, and they were all charged with vandalism...or..'Throwing Iceballs at RAF Property'
Up in front Officer Commanding Student Wing (the very same chap who took the Lightning for a circuit) Tipsy got a £5 fine (two days pay?)
As was the fashion in those days, probably taught at Cranwell, the presiding officer had Tipsy marched out & then marched back in again
'Where are you from, son?’
‘Reading Sir’
‘I suppose you don’t get much vandalism in Reading’
‘Not while I’m at Halton, Sir’
Anson Block fire
A legendary incident. One appo entry bricked up Finlay Gym, another entry dragged a helicopter up Halton Hill, another drove to Whipsnade Zoo and cut a massive cock on the chalk lion, visible for years.
Tipsy's lot burnt the block down.
After one of many end of course piss-ups, Tipsy & his chums ended up with takeaways in the unofficial common room - the Discip Cpl's office. After much larking around, and on the night that G**g S*****w discovered that his girlfriend was at the 'wrong time of the month', but only when he came in from the bushes (Everyone else spotted the signs first) it was time for bed.
The subsequent investigation decided that a discarded cigarette butt in the bin caused a fire to develop, causing a tin of blue floor polish next to it to heat up & explode. Additional fuel for the inferno was provided by the Discip Cpl's No1 uniform & porn collection.
Now Tipsy was in the room opposite the fire...with his girlfriend. Hearing the alarm, he opened the door to a wall of flame and slammed it shut to save his now smouldering pubes. And to make doubly sure (being pissed), he locked the door so that the nasty fire couldn't get in (and nor could the nice firemen). The window was one of those that hinged in the middle and only opened about 30 degrees. Tipsy's lithe girlfriend slipped out and jumped without incident, but Tipsy's escape was less successful. Placing a little too much weight on the window as he climbed onto the sill, he ripped the entire assembly from the wall and fell backwards through the sink. He was now sat on the floor amongst a sea of broken glass and porcelain...still in the block, with a severed achilles tendon, and other random lacerations. But he managed to climb up and jump to safety.
An ambulance was called but through impatience, J***y S****t decided it my be better if he drank drive (drunk drove?) to the Med Centre. Well it was all go at the Med Centre, as the medics refused them access as they had had an emergency call out, and off they went, leaving our heroes in the car park.
Order was restored, almost, as a drunk Wing Cmdr put 98 stitches, closing the lacerations, but not noticing the tendon damage. Something that would haunt Tipsy for years to come.
After all was done and dusted, some joker changed the nameplate of the block to 'Arson Block', the remainder of the course marched up & down Halton Hill singing 'Halton's burning..'
And Tipsy & his mates were soley responsible for the removal of blue floor polish from the RAF!
More to follow, keep bumping & commenting if you're enjoying yourselves.