Another one on Wurzel is due soon, but seeing as it is St Patrick's Day...
Savannah, Georgia
Tipsy's finest achievement
In the good old days of International Jetsetting, Albert was sweeping a Tornado back from the east coast of the USA. And the Tornado needed a fuel tank change…the boys were told to wait for news at the hotel. Knowing that Albert would need LOX, Tipsy quickly got a hire car organised, and they all set about being proper ascoteers.
They were in Savannah, Georgia, and it was St Patrick’s Week. Third only to New York & Boston in the St Patrick's Day piss-up league. In their own version of Mardi Gras, street vendors were selling green bead necklaces for a dollar, and you gave them to the girls in exchange for a flash of their tits! After 4 days heavy drinking, and with all the hotels booked up for the forthcoming weekend, they eventually got moved, against their will, to the 5 star hotel resort on the other side of the Savannah river.
More of that in a minute, but an extra tale at no further expense. After 4 days of having updates, cash injects & White Russian warm up drinks perched on the edge of the Co-Pilots double bed, there were some shenanigans between L*e R****s & K*v G***s. This involved high pitched screaming and running around the room, and jumping up and down on the bed. The athletic Loadmaster, realised that if the plump Flt Engineer ever caught him, he was going to get a good thrashing. In his panic, he grabbed the handle of what seemed to be an adjoining room door...which opened.
And they all looked on in amazement. There was a large room with a big seating area around a massive telly, a kitchen, and extra toilet and bathroom. The Co-Pilot had a suite, the queen had paid for it, and they never checked the door.
Anyway, over at the resort, there were a couple of free river taxis, but one of them broke down, so there was an hour long queue to get over to the pubs. Some of the team were a bit shabby, and looking for a days rest for the kidneys, so they weren’t short of duty drivers for the hire car. On Day 7, it was Tipsy’s turn to be Mr Sensible. So he dropped the gang off at the pubs, agreeing a pick up time and place, just like the previous couple of nights. Except the crew no longer had their GE with them to herd them on the ground, so it all went wrong. Savannah was by now overwhelmed by St Patrick’s Day revellers. Tipsy went to a free rock concert on the harbour front and returned to the agreed pick up point at the agreed time. But no crew. They didn’t even send a messenger to tell him they had other plans, the b*stards. Only the Captain had a mobile phone in these days.
So as Tipsy waited at the pick up point, there was a knock on the window.
‘Hilton Hotel, driver’ said the man.
‘Er…pardon?’ said Tipsy, ‘I’m just here to pick up my mates’.
‘Well, you’re in the Taxi rank, here’s $20, take us to the Hilton Hotel.’
‘Okay’.
And by now, Tipsy knew his way around Savannah. So, back to the…er…taxi rank, maybe give the crew one last chance.
To cut a long story short, this story has 4 punchlines:-
1. By the early hours of the morning, Tipsy had pocketed over $200
2. One of his female passengers didn’t have any money, or indeed anywhere to stay!
3. This obviously turned out to be the last trip, and Tipsy drove past the crew walking over the bridge half a mile up river.
4. The next day...you're going to have to work this one out for yourself.
You can make a guess, but I dare not tell you, or the armchair PPRuNers will spill their coffee.
More to come, do post if you are being entertained!