hahahaha thats good
Maybe ask someone in the CAA if they can erase records of your ATPL, don't see anything illegal about that, they might be able to accommodate you.
Then you could just put down 250TT on your app. and that you're willing to SSTR.
It might be tough getting rid of all the knowledge and experience you have, but if you want a shot at Ryanair you will have to figure something out to be competitive.. good luck!