"Sir I think its your shoes............
"No it is not, it's your stupid machine "
"Take your shoes off"
"No"
"Whats in your bag"
"The same $%%^ I had yesterday" ( you moron)
"Have you had a trace test done before"
"Yes, yesterday, and every day before that when you personally stopped me at this time - EVERYDAY" ( you idiot)
"I will have to take this - (tiny tweesers, deoderant, water, off you)
"No dramas, I am about to strap myself onto a 50 - 400 ton flying missile - jam packed with between 5 and 120 tons of volatile jet fuel, conveniently coloured for easy recognition - but go right ahead - HELL strip me naked for all I care"
"I have an ASIC if that makes difference "???
"No sir it does not, you will be subjected to the rubber glove like all the other passengers, in a RANDOM fashion, even if we have to chase you down across the airport - "Sorry sir, just a RANDOM check " uhhhhh ok, why are you panting fatty ???
X rays - everyday - Sorry Anthony - How does GF sound?
Synchs on - Water is OFFFFFF