Rosiegirl,
A warm welcome to you. I admire you for admitting getting it wrong by listening to the wrong people. It takes a lot of guts to do that - well done.
I've not been in a union for approx. a year (due to the unions' behaviour). I've been a member of both branches at various times, but I couldn't justify wasting (in my opinion) my money anymore. I know you're worried about diciplinaries etc, but as others have already posted, you can take any BA employee with you if such a thing should happen (God forbid, obviously). I would like to say though, that during my time at BA, I've asked for help from the union on a few occasions (not diciplinaries), and they refused to help. Make of that what you wish, of course, but I wasn't impressed in the slightest.
Also, I'll send you a link if I can find it, about the offer on the table last year. That offer would've seen MF integrated, so TorC and the Captain you spoke with are both telling the truth.
I wish you the very best. It may be a scary world out there, but there are more crew out there who think the same as you do, than you realise. If I could fix it, I would, but unfortunately I don't have such powers.