Why do cabin crew and flight crew love the sound of their own dreary voices so much?
Most don't. In fact it is often something of a nuisance to have to address passengers when the very short interval between the last of them boarding, and the completion of checks, is all constrained by the need to get the aircraft moving in order to comply with slots, and avoid lengthy delays that inconvenience everybody. However there are legal requirements that fall to the captain of a flight and in turn to the crew to ensure that passengers are properly and adequately briefed. It would be quicker to say,
"listen carefully because your life might depend on this in a few minutes." However it is deemed more sensible to adopt a low key, more professional, and courteous approach. Whether you like it or not, and that takes a little more time.
Why are we instructed to do this and do that and "wait until the seat belt sign is extinguished", and all the rest of this ritual of rubbish we have to put up with day after day.
Because the regulatory authority places a a statutory requirement on us to ensure that these things are both briefed and complied with. In addition it also provides us with the necessary defence to your potential legal counsels claims of negligence when you subsequently suffer loss or injury by failing to comply with these requirements.
I don't want to watch another lifejacket demonstration. I think I've got the idea now.
I don't want to be told how to fasten my seat belt - it's blindingly obvious.
No, I don't want to have to deliver another take off safety briefing to my co-pilot, but I do. The reason is, because it refreshes information that needs to be in the short term memory in the event of an emergency. You might be surprised to learn that the biggest single impediment to evacuation is people failing to release their seatbelts. Why, if it so blindingly obvious? The answer is, that in times of severe stress the brain adopts a survival (fight or flight) mode. During that time it tends to shut down superficial reasoning and memory. This results in primary reaction relying on what is in the short term memory (hence the pre-flight briefing) and what is deeply instinctive. In the case of the latter, what is instinctive to most people regarding seatbelts, are the ones they have in their cars. They fasten at the side of the seat, which is where poorly briefed people will often spend an inordinate amount of time looking for the release. It is therefore important that the short term memory is effective in overriding the instinctive response, and this is best achieved by a briefing shortly before the event, that is listened to and understood.
As for lifejackets, in my company we have 6 different types of lifejacket. Some are specifically for adults, some for children, some for both adults and children and some for infants. It is crucially important that you know when and when not to inflate them. Likewise where to find them. Again this needs to be ingrained in your short term memory, not remembered vaguely from your last flight.
I don't need to be reminded to read the safety card - we know how to evacuate the aircraft -
Well, those of us that practice it on a regular basis, know that every evacuation is likely to be different and that we can never know how an aircraft will actually be evacuated until that actual emergency occurs. However if you search
youtube, I am sure you will find plenty of videos of real evacuations where the "know it all -
yawn" passenger has decided to evacuate with his luggage, which then spills at the bottom of the slide and impedes the exit path. You know how to evacuate the aircraft, means you have re-briefed yourself (the safety card) and watched and listened prior to take off.
in reality it's every man for himself and the devil take the hindmost.
Clutching his briefcase no doubt! In fact an effective evacuation requires common sense, teamwork, and informed people. Teamwork isn't just from the crew, it comes from the passengers as well. Obviously they don't spend days every year practicing and testing these procedures, so it is important that they have a short term memory refresher, and basic knowledge prior to every take-off. What you have described is likely to result in additional casualities, and is the likely result of the selfish ill informed and poorly briefed individual.
And I really don't give a damn what the name is of the captain of the plane - any more than I care who the driver is of my intercity train.
So why don't the cabin crew and flight crew do us all a favour and shut up?
Great, because we don't want a Christmas card from you. We just want you to listen and try and contribute to the overall safety of the operation. In order to comply with the legislative requirement of our charges, we have to communicate. That can't be done by shutting up. Communication is the key tool to safety in our profession and if we fail to provide the best level of safety that is practical, we are not doing you a favour at all.
I realize that your post is so ill informed, selfish and moronic in content, that it must have been made simply to elicit the predicted response. Nevertheless it is a good springboard for reminding people why we do these seemingly repetitive communications, and why they are so important. Obviously the vast majority of passengers already know much of this, but like yourself there is always the odd one that doesn't.
Whilst it is clearly tempting to say that you can adopt your own stance and burn in your seat for all anyone cares, the truth is that we are all charged with a moral and legal responsibility to ensure that doesn't happen. Likewise none of us would want to live with the thought that somebody had needlessly perished on our flight, even if they were selfish or a complete moron!
(Bing-Bong!)