Perhaps yet another perspective?
The internet is a relatively new form of interaction which is continuing to evolve accepted methods, norms, and etiquette of that type of communication. Whilst those norms are develping, there will always be a diverse view on the direction and magnitude of the changes.
An example: When I were a lad (
) we used to throw beer at people who were so rude that they answered, and then spoke, on their mobile 'phone near the bar. Nowadays, it is becomming the norm for your friend to interupt your conversation with them to answer and speak on his mobile.
The second point about this evolution of norms relates to the persistant point that it is such a "public display" that offends. If it WAS so public, surely we would all use our real names? I think the internet has allowed people to communicate with a large degree of privacy and intamacy, whilst also being able to communicate widely - something that just is not possible to achieve with our previous mass communication methods. So I am not convinced we can use our thoughts about the norms of traditional communication methods to apply to something so different (although those norms are the necessary starting point).
Lastly, we are skirting around the issue of "tribalisim". It is human nature to identify with a group of people, and to bring out the similarities within that group when referring to them. Rugby is a good example here. If you play for your school, you dislike all the other schools. Once you make the Combined Schools team, all those previously disliked people are in your group now, and collectively, you are against the other combined schools team. Then you make the Counties team, etc, etc, on to the National team where you dislike all the other national teams. Finally, to top it off, ALL rugby players can dislike the players of other sports (especially football which, as we all know, is for poofs
).
It is this tribalism we see expressed. It is not elitism. When we look at it in a wider perspective, they were helicopter pilots just like us. I am sure that even those fixed wing pilots will express sympathy too - for they can identify as aviators. I think the condolences are merely an expression of that connection/identification.