As for the Escrow route, if it's genuine the worst thing that happens is that the whole deal gets bogged down for weeks while paperwork is done by the lawyers.
But if it is not a genuine Escrow company then you still lose your money to the scammer.
You don't need to worry any more, in the EU at least.
Since 1 November 2009, with the introduction in the UK of the Payment Services Regulations, escrow services finally come under the auspices of the FSA and HMRC.
You will find genuine escrow companies at the FSA online register at
www.fsa.gov.uk/register/psdFirmSearchForm.do (try searching there for 'escrow' as an example) and/or at
https://customs.hmrc.gov.uk/msbregister/checkTerms.do).
These new online escrow services may offer exactly the service you are looking for, and cost only £3 or so all-in to use !
Beware, as you point out, there are many, many fraudulent escrow services which look real - even quoting UK addresses, phone numbers and fake FSA & HMRC registration numbers. They look extremely professional, and any money posted to them (or goods sent relying on them) will be lost forever. So
only ever work with a firm on the FSA register and/or the HMRC register, which will be safe.
And there are strict time limits, so you are unlikely to get have your money unnecessarily tied up.