...Personally I always ensure the vital things are there, silently! and I would never presume to suggest no-one else should.
Agreed. Verbalising non-SOP checks at critical phases of flight can lead to confusion.
I remember on a previous type, one of the pre-takeoff checks was a challenge of "Flaps?" to which the response, under normal circumstances, would have been "Five" (say) and "Green" (all the LE deployed, otherwise "Red" = no go). Simple. But no: many had their own little mantra, all subtly different from the others. Sometimes it was verbal diarrhoea: "Five, green, five on the card, five in the box, five fingers on my hand, five is my number, here's a fiver...", etc. All a bit distracting, especially when mumbled into the headset in a busy ATC environment.
IMHO nothing wrong in saying, clearly, "I'm just going to check the config. before we go; don't mind me." or words to that effect. It stops you wasting time trying to understand WTF the other pilot is failing to communicate to you.