Here's the song
alas!
How the Service will de-generate over those 12 Days of Yuletide strikes
(Sung to the well known tune)
On the first day of Christmas my crew love gave to me
a part ride with some lukewarm Chablis
On the second day of Christmas my crew love gave to me
Two fertile shoves (to the back of the cabin)
and a part ride to New York Cit-ee (return flight cancelled)
On the third day of Christmas my crew love gave to me
Three French mens (lost bags, instead of my own)
Etc etc
On the twelfth day of Christmas my crew love gave to me
Twelve plumbers bumming (a free ride home on another airline)
eleven pipers wiping (the tears of despair from their eyes)
ten awards a' weeping (couldn’t get an upgrade)
nine ladies re-financing (their trip to Turkey)
eight downgrades a' milking (as much sympathy as possible)
seven prawns a' slimming (no more onboard meals)
six police a' spraying (water cannon at the picket lines)
five apron strings (to go serve myself in the galley)
four appalling words (unrepeatable)
three French mens (lost bags instead of my own)
two fertile shoves (to prevent me moving forward to Club World)
and my bus fare home to Dundee