ottergirl,
..... frightened is what you get when you are a single parent paying a mortgage that was determined by what you were earning 3 years ago!
I'm sure we all understand 'frightened', but if that is your emotional state, then don't you think that it is likely the fault of BASSA for causing it? BASSA's actions (or more accurately,
inaction) has precipitated the escalating goings-on here. The 'train-set' belongs to BA and it will find others to 'play' with if BASSA continues dicking about!
.... I think my family deserve that I keep the roof over their heads while they finish their state school education
Your family might expect that, but your employer doesn't
owe you your living. If you feel you family are so deserving then you are playing fast and loose with their expectations, aren't you?