Bang on the money Centaurus. My last two checks have been polar opposites due to first being with the sort of check captain you are talking about and the last being with a natural born instructor. I wasn't looking forward to the sim second time around, however with a good 'checky' I learned a lot and performed well due to the better atmosphere in the sim. I might not be eager to go to my next sim now (I'm not that much of a sucker for punishment) however I won't be stressing over it and will go up knowing I'm going to learn and come out of it a better pilot.
In regards to the use of the autopilot in the cct. My personal opinion is a good mix of both hand flying some days and using the autopilot others is the way to go. The manipulation of the FMP and power levers while using the autoflight gives a greatly improved confidence in using the autopilot. If you are confidant with the autopilot in high pressure situations you should still be able to make rapid changes to the FMP and get what you want out of the autopilot so you dominate it not it dominating you. Saying that I hand fly roughly half my ccts and about 75% of my practice approaches so that I maintain my stick skills.
If you're in poor conditions I think it is best to use the autopilot due to the lower work load giving you opportunity for greater situational awareness. You must be good at both hand flying and using the autoflight so both are available to you in adverse conditions.