On good authority, true:
1. Manx Airlines Captain, after landing at Ronaldsway, " Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to the Isle of Man. If any of you would like to adjust your watches, I suggest you wind them back 20 years!". Serious bollocking ensued with Ops Dir.
2. Air Europe 757 that broke its back on landing at Madeira many years ago (acft write off), nose wheel punctured the cabin flooring - Thespian male cabin crew raced into cockpit after aircraft shudderd to a halt and said, "Well guys, I've had most things up my a**, but never before the nosewheel of a 757, thanks for the new experience!"