Agreed, the e-mail system is a great way to get everyone on the same page leading up the flight. I use it on almost every leg. Ninety-plus percent of the time, it seems appreciated and definitely leads to less tension in the cockpit. If people don't bother checking e-mail beforehand, that's not my problem. I give a short briefing when we board and reiterate that I sent the e-mail and what the schedule is.
In terms of what the schedule should or shouldn't be, I guess we all have our own viewpoint. It's true there are some CN's who remember being FO's and others who don't. I personally do and try to be fair to the other three. Having said that, it's my airplane and my responsibility to have both myself and the flying FO alert after 12+ hours in the air. I have a formula that seems to work relatively well. Example - HKG/LAX: 12:30 block; I usually work the first 2:00, 2:00 off, 2:30 on, 4:45 off; 1:15 on. That's just how I prefer it, but I also don't adopt an attitude if someone wants a slight variation. I try to be fair but will admit I do occasionally shaft the SO and am apt to give them a 6:00 - 7:00 block in the middle if I feel it's needed for everyone else to be rested(particularly on "shorter" ULH's). I know some of you think that's unfair but a) they're young(!), b) they have 0-50 ULH's in their system so far and c) they only do it for 2-3 years. I started as an SO here when I was 24...you can do anything when you're 24. After 400+ ULH turns, talk to me then.
As someone said, just be patient. Your time will come and while it seems like a long time, you spend a ton more years here as a CN than any other seat...or at least you used to (another subject for another day).