TAA and the DC-9

[Fantome]

teresa green
. . . then the ground engineer and I (holding axe) carefully went into the head, nothing, so wondered if the thing had gone down the bowl, but no sign, so had a good look around but could see nothing, then I saw the battery lid was open on one side and it was wet, and realised the poor bugger had taken a p#ss it had gone onto the battery, and he got a charge straight up the ol$ fell@,

Reminds me of two happenings.

The late Toby Alleyne, a dry man as posted elsewhere hereabouts, was told by the hostie that the door handle on the dunny was busted and the bloke inside wanted out. Tobe tried the spare tool, dunny doors, for the use of. No go. Back for the crash axe. Shouts through the handle hole 'KEEP WELL BACK IN THERE.' Two or three well directed blows and centre section of door gives in. And what did Tobe write in the 14-1 (the big tin book) but
TOILET DOOR U/S.

There were Duntroon cadets ('Cordies')in the late fifties learning to fly on Austers of Kingsford Smith Flying School. (One was Laurie Doyle - whatever happened to him?). One was telling members of the Canberra Aero Club about the rigours of the bastardisation all first year cordies underwent. When they weren't being ordered out of the sack at 0300 to go up Mount Pleasant and extinguish the flashing red hazard light, 'because it's stopping me getting to sleep', they were victims of cunning stunts such as going for a slash in the middle of the night and standing in bare feet and as soon as the stream hits the stainless a circuit is made through the thin wire the cordie's standing on and a concealed 12 v battery.

Oh and a follow on to stories lavatorial. Heard these two from QF engineers from 1049 days. Staging through Karachi some Paki engineer has pleasant task of clearing blockage in hand basin because someone has crapped in it. Writes in log ' wash basin blocked. used as urinal or arsinal.' One of the DN lags reads this the next day and adds his own rider. 'Snag rectumfied'.

No idea how authentic this one is but a onetime 1049 F/E swore that a lady of generous proportions was stuck on the dunny and the females of the cabin crew could not prise her off. He said he twigged there was an air lock or a partial vacuum in the bowl. He knocked politely and entered the shouse, soaped up his hands and said to the lady, by now suffused a bright shade of pink, 'Excuse me', slid his hands between her mighty thighs, and made hasty retreat back to his more accustomed station.