St Petersburg in January. The plane is still at the gate but is rocking in the wind and snow flurries are tearing across the tarmac. Laconic Finnair pilot (with heavy accent).
(Click)
'Ladies and gentlemen, the weather in Saint Petersburg tonight is terrible and the weather in Helsinki is worse. Please do your seat belts up very tight. Thank-you.'
(Click)
Heathrow, BA to Rome. As the engines are started an Italian lady runs down the aisle of the plane, and starts hammering on the cockpit door, shouting at the top of her voice (in Italian) that she wants to get off. Cabin crew gather round but their Italian is not really up to the challenge. Italian passengers join in to 'translate'. Pandemonium. After a few minutes the door opens and the man with four rings on his arm takes a look. The door closes again. Then the P.A.:
'Ladies and gentlemen, there will now follow a short delay while we try to establish why this lady does not wish to fly with 'the worlds favourite airline'.
Cathay to Taiwan just after a storm has gone through. Start the approach, and the 777 is being tossed around like confetti. People are getting scared, and I'm thinking lunch is going to end up in a bag. Incredibly laid back Antipodean pilot:
'Well guys, this isn't really working is it? Think we'll try something else.'
All three took all the tension out of the situation. And one from the ground: Kristiansund in south Norway. A glass fronted terminal where you can watch the planes come and go:
'xxxx announces that due to an incident on the incoming flight there will be a delay to the flight to Stavanger.'
The plane taxis in, and bored passengers watch as an ambulance pulls up. The crew disappear inside with a stretcher and come back carrying what is very obviously a corpse. Next announcement:
'Would any standby passengers for Stavanger please come to the desk at the departure gate?'