UK Government promises internet for all.

[Forkandles]

Morning meeting at No.10

Brown: Right then. The recession’s biting, the arse has dropped even further out of the pound, more businesses going to the wall and we’re still bringing our troops home in body bags. I need to give them something fellas. Give me some ideas!

Advisors: T’internet.

Brown: What? They’ve already got that.

Advisors: Not everyone’s got it, Boss. People out in the sticks aren’t cabled up, or something, and they have to make do with dial up.

Brown: Dial up? Sh1t, people still haven’t got access to decent streaming porn? Right lads, listen up. We’ll promise that they’ll all have broadband by, say, 2012? I’ll have frigged off by then, so I couldn’t give a toss either way, but they’ll be too busy with the old left handed surfing to notice the UK’s gone bust and everyone’s on the dole.

Advisors: Cunning plan, Boss! We’ll get onto the media office right away.

Brown: Right, that’s enough for today lads. Let’s get pi$$ed.