Guppy - it's your astronaut abilities that incite the yawn,
I'm glad my blue collar experience floats your boat. I wouldn't have thought to equate it to being an astronaut...but as you wish.
Remember, flying frightens the sh1t out of many people.
Yeah. Me too.
As for egress, it's just not rocket science to make sure every person out the door knows they have one mission in life; run as far away as possible. Say anything you want...stop, drop and roll. Just go. Run for your life. Head toward the big tree. Go anywhere but the fire...
Anytime a large gaggle of passengers saunters back into the fire...that's a bad egress. I don't care what kind of excuses you want to throw out there. You had a hard time getting out of the cockpit. You're understaffed. You've had a bad day. You're not paid enough. You have an ingrown toe nail. You were lost in thought over the Indian Ocean. When passengers start strolling back to the airplane and in particular the fire, something's seriously wrong.
From the point of view of the PIC, you're still responsible for those passengers, even if you're having a hard time extricating yourself from the "hatch."
Stop yawning long enough to quit making excuses and take charge. Perhaps if you'd been a little more impressed, and spent less time sleeping in the "simulator", you might be a little more motivated to coordinate those passengers. Point here...stop making excuses and make it happen.