Perhaps we should try something along the lines of Roy's suggestion. How about minimum crew per aircraft just to arm/disarm the doors, open them if there is an emergency and do first aid if required (Panadol not included). Accommodation downroute provided by the YMCA, no need for smart uniforms, just jeans and a t-shirt.
Let the pax sort out their own seating problems, bring their own drinks, lunch,newspapers, nappies etc. They would also need to bring their own entertainment as movies are hardly essential to their safety.
Perhaps it could go forward to "My Idea" or whatever the scheme is to save the company cash.