Sometimes you just have to laugh
Whilst passing through Brisbane Int'l security, in civvies, enroute to NZ to operate the next day I had the pleasure of having my bag's contents totally removed and screened separately.
When the security person discovered a pilot's hat, wings and epaulettes in my bag she asked "why do you have a Pilot's hat in your bag?"
Being very careful not to be a smart-arse and having the rest of me individually screened I replied simply that I am a pilot.
"Oh, okay" was the dead-pan response.
It took all the composure I could muster not to fall on the floor in fits of laughter.
What did she expect me to say?