Heres a situation to make your eyes water and your sides split with laughter.
At the staff search at my base my FO had his water bottle removed. behind him in the queue was a chap with a trolley full of drinks for, I'm guessing WH smiths or O'brians. his liquids went through the same scanning machine but were ok. Not even a raised eyebrow from the security staff. There were a few other pilots in the staff search. We all looked at each other and sighed.
About a week ago I was followed through staff search by two women each carrying 2 2litre cans of white paint. For some reason they were allowed through.
If your aircrew your buggered. If your ground staff, you could probably get a swimming pool through with no hassle.
A few months ago all my crew were told to take there shoes off. the next day the same thing happened. the next day, again, we were all told the to take our shoes off. I refused.
I said that as far as I knew, the rules were about one in three should take there shoes off. the security chap said it was a percentage. "well so far your working on a 100% rule".
"heres what I think, you've had an audit, the audit has revealed that your not asking enough people to take there shoes off, so, in knee jerk response your making everyone take ther shoes off".
"I can get my manager if you want to make a complaint"
In the end since there was now a queue, and i was in a rush, I took my shoes off.
A few days later it was back to normal, and I haven't been asked to take my shoes off since.
god Bless the security ship and all who sail in her.