Very good post Wiggy. Everyone has good and bad days be it a C4 or a Capt. Victimisation is never a good thing being six miles over our lovely planet or in the crew room.
That said, the skipper, once the doors are closed, is the BOSS. More so even than the CEO of the airline. He/She calls the shots - period, UNLESS its unsafe to follow their orders.
CRM - yes, but a democracy it isn't.