Poor old Captain Ed the dinosaur - you've gotta feel sorry for him: retired, too much time and money on his hands and nothing to do but shop for plastic raincoats and search for free web sleeze so he can oggle women young enough to be his grand-daughter.
Oh yeah Captain Ed, I'm sure those sort of women are much less likely to suffer from the ailments you described previously. What's really sad is to get to your age and yet have less wisdom than many teenagers.