Wage freeze
Any one remember a few years back when there were wage freezes due to the company going through hard times and the connotation being that come the good times, then it would not be forgotten that we'd been a great bunch of fellas and gals, and we'd all share in the good times? Well with a forecast pre-tax profit of approx 1.5 billion (that's 1 followed by 9 zeros if you use American billion or 12 zeros if you use pommy) then I'd say good times have well and truly arrived, and I'd like to see a return on my 'good fella' voucher. If qf want the press to report a 3% wage rise then a significant sign off 'bonus' (a la trolley dollies) could be a good way for both camps to walk away with dignity intact.
If you don't want to act in higher position use the excuse that you don't want to take on the legal responsibility re ohas. MH will back you on this as he was a defendant in a liability trial - not in this life's top ten experiences.
Don't want to work o/t - drunk/primary carer/fatigue/out of state or town/don't answer phone/call screen/message bank/anniversary/birthday(esp wife's, kid's)/waiting for delivery or tradesman/met new girl/fella last nite and up to n*ts in g*ts or make something up!
Have fun and enjoy the festive season!