Does anyone have the correct terminology for when you can't comply with ATC direction for safety reasons?
Standard terminolgy to me is "REQUIRE" when I MUST have it and in other cases "REQUEST". Not sure that that would have helped in your situation. It's hard to suggest what should have been done as I wasn't in the left seat on the day. Maybe you could have pointed out you were well ahead of the Number one aircraft, and REQUESTed you be number 1. I dont think you can REQUIRE to be number one as there were probably other safe options such as doing a full circuit.