Geez Jack....
I remember during my first day of induction, the good man who was showing us(my sim partner and I) around, told us something that I will NEVER forget whilst I am employed in HKG. His words were "Whichever way you came to Hong Kong, leave the same way. If you're married, leave married, if you're single, leave single...if you decide to get married, leave married, but whatever you do, do not get a divorce in Hong Kong, because the lawyers will get more than 50% for her and themselves".
It doesn't take someone of an Eisteinean IQ to understand what he was telling us....
Now, not to turn my 2 cents worth into a philosophical debate....I have been where you are at now albeit I don't have children. I did seek legal counseling, and it wasn't cheap as One would know....
What was my experience ? In the end, only the lawyers win mate, not you, not her, not your kids.
If there's any way you can salvage your marriage and work things out with your wife, it's worth it, not only from a financial perspective, but also having your children grow up with two parents, rather than one.
I won't elaborate any further, I am not in a position to preach a pious view - I am a son of a broken home (rare having come from a strict Mediterranean background), and to this very day I still wished my parents would have worked things out rather than continue to fight 15 years on.
Like I said, just my 2 cents worth to someone, having experienced both sides of the story.