As someone who spent more than a decade in the RAF including going through flight training but ending up in a different role I would quite categorically state that military aviators are the leaders and the Royal Air Force are the finest in the world. Yes there are egos in military aviation, you only have to meet many of them after they leave the mob to see this. However it is for a reason, these guys are not really just aviators, they are warriors flying an ariel combat platform, the aircraft is transport to the site of the mission, aviation skills are a pure reflex action second place to the combat role and this combat role is never to be under estimated.
There are plenty of private flyers out there myself included who fly and have access to fast jets. Being able to operate a FJ is minor compared to the ability to aviate, navigate, communicate and FIGHT.
Yes the mil have cock-ups they are still human, but a massive amount of attention is paid to safety and considering the operational and training requirements there are few incidents.
So how do I view military pilots? They are the finest in the world with egos to match. If I could have come close the standards they achieve I would probably not be posting as Bose-X................