Condolences threads
Moved from another thread.
Now I know I'm going to take some hits here but I'm saying it anyway, partly because I want to get it off my chests and partly because I hope that it will stimulate discussion - so here goes:
Is it just me or are some of the condolences threads on this forum turning into "cheesiest post" contests? Some of the comments being made are almost stomach churning with poetry being quoted, pictures of little children praying and, in many ways the worst, religious references which assume that the victim or their family are a) religious in the first place and b) Christian. In an increasingly secular and/or multi-faith society this is ever less the case.
When family or friends die, I don't want or need people to quote chunks of the bible at me or to send messages which tell me that God will make it all OK. For a start, I don't believe that there is a God and second, if there is he's doing a pretty poor job of it. I therefore find such religious "offerings" offensive and pointless - serving more to make the sender feel better than to actually help the recipient.
For example, when my mother-in-law died recently, the majority of family members found the condolences cards with religious messages to be distressing as none of us believe in God. "God" did not make it right, she is not "with the angels" etc etc etc. These messages actually made some of us angry because, if there is a God, he subjected my mother-in-law to 8 years of suffering with cancer and an untimely death at the age of just 61!
I an in no way diminishing the courage and sacrifice of our service personnel - I've had friends killed in these recent conflicts - rather I'm taking a swipe at the "Diana-itis" which seems to have crept into these threads of late.
Perhaps what I'm saying is think before you post - I know that I and all my family members (apart from the one who does believe in God) find such messages hurtful rather than helpful. Think - are the victim and their bereaved family Christian, Muslim, Jew, atheist, pagan etc? YOU may believe in your choice of deity and you may find such messages help YOU, but do they help the bereaved?
OK - vent your spleens now because I know I will have upset plenty of people.
(Edited to sort a couple of typos)
Last edited by moggiee; 31st Aug 2007 at 22:42.