Vito, do yourself a favour and listen to some of the SUPERB advice that is being offered.
The truth sometimes isn't what you want to hear...but there are plenty who have had it tougher than you.
Perhaps you were one of those unfortunate kids at school who actually believed that "taking part" was the object of sport, or worse, you were always the last to get picked.
Why not prove something to yourself, and show some of the determination you MUST have possessed to pass your exams and flight tests?
Hell, I had about 20 jobs before I got my first full time flying job..ranging from digging post holes to delivering pamphlets.
You need to pull your head outta your arse buddy.