A few thoughts ..
(a) this sort of thread is useful (provided we keep reasonably cool heads) for its ability to present a pretty wide range of observations .. the fact that some folks get a little more agitated than others merely is a reflection of the human condition
(b) it is unfortunate that some pilots possibly never have worked outside the flying game .. it's not much different anywhere .. the boss is the boss and the juniors have to toe the line to the extent necessary for the thing to work. If it doesn't work that way on the day then it doesn't work well.
(c) in some jobs (flying, surface vessels/submarines, surgery, hazardous chemicals are several that come to mind) there often is not time to schedule a committee meeting to discuss the pros and cons .. the system has to put its trust in its ability to end up with effective, functional and appropriately decisive leaders. Sure, it doesn't work all the time but we have to go with the percentages overall. In other jobs .. routine clerical work, for instance, the urgency for decision making and the consequences of bad decision making are such that perhaps those systems can tolerate a bit more PC than flying
(d) the main variation one sees (throughout the workforce) is that associated with the principle that there exists many ways for the boss to lead and command .. some better and more effective than others .. and this, too, varies according to circumstances. In my simplistic view of the world, I like to think that the main aim of CRM etc., is to grab all the best that there is out there and present it in a manner best suited to making it easier for the guys and gals to learn by the mistakes and successes of others .. there really just isn't enough time for all of us to make all the useful learning outcomes mistakes ourselves .. not to mention the cost associated with bad mistakes in modern aircraft. Where this approach becomes especially important is when the experience level goes down due to the normal longer term cyclical nature of the industry .. particularly when the new commander experience level is limited. In the military system, a very active flight by flight authorisation process seeks to take up the slack .. but this doesn't apply in the civil arena in general
Apart from the proactive approaches embodied in CRM etc .. I go with the old saying that one should observe one's colleagues, take note of what works well and what doesn't ... incorporate the former into one's own practices ... and discard the latter
The system is not perfect by any means .. but it bumbles along reasonably well most of the time ...