Most idiotic things you've seen from a tower?
Just wondered if ATCOs would mind sharing stories about the most stupid things they've observed from their towers? Be it pilots or ground crew etc.
One particular favourite of mine:
Manchester dual runway ops, quite a significant queue had built up for 24L. Jet2 737 gets crossing clearance from F1 to V5 for departure from VA1. The aircraft began crossing 24R (arrival RWY) but then proceded to slow half way across, and then stop with its tail end halfway over the runway edge.
Controller: Channex 890 do you have a problem?
Aircraft: Negative
Controller: Well you're infringing the landing runway. Expedite to V5!
Aircraft: Well we were just biding our time to see if we preferred Tango 1
Controller: There's landing traffic 1 mile, move now!
Aircraft: Oh, roger, wilco
Controller: Channex 890 you were given V5, so you're expected to go to V5
Aircraft: Apologies
...
Controller: Channex 890 via VA1 line up and wait 24L
Aircraft: Line up 24L
Controller: Channex 890 24L clear takeoff ...
Aircraft: Er, we're not quite ready ma'am
Controller: [many expletives to colleagues in tower!!!]
How ridiculous! Possibly didn't like being given instructions from a lady controller. Anyone observed anything similiar?