Phil your intentions seem honest enough and you seem to be dealing with things in a realistic manner. Most of what you've mentioned above are variables for consideration but they're NOT necessarily a bar. If you wish to just complete the basic fATPL then you'll find it hard going and you'll almost certainly need to some form of post training options. A Flight instructors rating might be of interest though the numerous students go onto complete a Type Rating and others still head for Line Experience (maybe even work aboard eventually - who said it was confined to the UK, this aviation after all). Each has it's merits which must be measured against the individuals cicurmstances. However two things I will say for sure... time is of the essence and if avaiation doesn't want you then you need to find out as soon as possible so that you can go and do something else in life and not waste the rest of years chasing 'a point on horizon'. At the end you can at least satisy yourself with the knowledge that did everything and it just wasn't meant to be.
Also be wary of setting things in stone as market conditions, trends and requirements change shape like an ocean's surface so you'll need to continously need to reassess your training aims throughout.
Now go research and talk to people, be realistic and go somewhere you're happy and not because everyone else goes there or the marketing people said so. Everyone can smile that's just common courtesy and not some kind seal of approval. Plan your finances, get the family on board and explain things honestly then get going!
Good luck
