Mungo Man, you have all my sympathies! When I joined commercial aviation in 1970 as a (young!) Second Officer many of the Captains were "characters" - they were called "Atlantic Barons". In the world we now live in their style of captaincy would not be appropriate BUT these guys had come up through the Stratocruisers, Constellations etc with minimum levels of automation and much less reliability. It was quite challenging flying with some of these individuals BUT they knew the job inside out and knew what was important and what was not. Woe betide if anyone questioned the authority of the commander!
As BelArgUSA relates things were quite different then. I decided early on that I was going to learn from these guys and tap into their vast wealth of experience. I didnt think they were always right about everything but I did learn a lot. Part of the FOs lot is working with the Captain because, whatever you think, he/she is the Captain!
Aviation has and is going through a period of massive change - who knows what sorts of a/c we will be operating in ten years from now? However human beings do not change - you cannot change other people but you can change your own attitude to what is going on around you! I have digressed a little but I hope these comments help your journey.